


Weenie Whistle

by HeatherSinclair



Category: Santa Clause (Movies)
Genre: Anal, Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Christmas, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, M/M, Santa Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:07:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28023687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeatherSinclair/pseuds/HeatherSinclair
Summary: Santa finally delivers Neil the Weenie Whistle he's wanted since childhood, and Neil decides to fulfill a lifelong fantasy. He puts the weenie whistle in his butt.
Relationships: Laura Miller/Neal Miller, Scott Calvin/Neal Miller
Kudos: 5





	Weenie Whistle

**Author's Note:**

> i'm fairly drunk writing this one too. contains butts. and christmas cheer.

Neal had never felt a thrill quite like the one he got when he felt the Oscar Meyer Weenie Whistle between his lips. The smooth feeling of plastic brushing the thin, sensitive skin of his lips was enough to send a chill through his entire body. On that moment on Christmas Eve, when he was watching his wife's ex-husband Scott Calvin fly through the sky as Santa Clause, he knew there were weirder things going on than the strange arousal he felt blowing that little weenie whistle. But still, he couldn't stop thinking about it.

After his step-son, Charlie, had gone off on the sleigh with Scott/Santa to fly around the world and back to the North Pole, Neal headed back inside with his wife, Laura.

"So Scott really was Santa after all, huh?" said Laura, leaning against the living room mantle where the stockings were hung by the chimney with care. 

"Yeah, crazy," said Neal, gazing at the Christmas tree. His fingers brushed the Weenie Whistle in his pocket, a warm tingly feeling coursing through his veins.

"I just can't believe it. What a night," she shook her head, glancing at the stockings. 

Neal wanted to focus on the shock that his wife's ex was Santa. He wanted to focus on the shock of learning that Santa was REAL in the first place! But he couldn't; he couldn't focus on anything other than the strange excitement he felt when he first put the Weenie Whistle in his mouth.

All his life, Neal had pined for that Weenie Whistle. He remembered when Santa didn't deliver him the Weenie Whistle when he was a child; he wondered if it was because he'd been bad that year and didn't deserve it. But now, as a full grown adult, he finally had the prized possession, and he couldn't stop the excitement. The excitement felt like it was starting to turn to arousal. SEXUAL arousal.

"So," said Neal, looking over at his wife. "Charlie's out for the night. And it's Christmas Eve. Do you want to..."

"What? Make hot chocolate?"

He wiggled his eyebrows. "Is that what the kids are calling it nowadays?"

"Ew, Neil!" said Laura. "How do you have the energy for sex right now? It's Christmas Eve. We thought we lost our son for a while! Then we found out my ex husband was Santa! I am so exhausted I could die!"

"Okay," said Neil. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," said Laura. "I just need to go to sleep."

"Good night," said Neal, kissing his wife's cheek as she ascended the stairs and toward the bedroom.

But Neil didn't follow, because he was still turned on as hell. He felt that Weenie Whistle in the pocket of his khakis burning against him, teasing him. As he ran his thumb along the smooth plastic surface of the whistle, he felt his dick beginning to twitch. Before he knew it, his cock was throbbing, hard as a rock and begging to break free. His entire body felt warm, sweaty almost, in need of some pleasure. He needed to do something about this.

Neal crept into the bathroom, into the medicine cabinet to get the small bottle of lube that Laura kept around for when she had dry ass pussy. He took the lube into the living room with him, along with a hand towel from the bathroom. Sitting back down on the couch, Neil unscrewed the cap from the lube bottle and pulled the Weenie Whistle out of his pocket. The whistle was fairly small; he noticed that the whistle would fit through the neck of the lube bottle. He thrust it inside, coating the outside of the whistle with slick slippery lube. 

He quickly unbuckled his belt and dropped his pants around his ankles, then laid on his back on the couch, pinching the Weenie Whistle between his thumb and forefinger. He grabbed his right butt cheek, opening up his ass and giving his hand easy access to his anus. Then, he took a deep breath, and he slid the Weenie Whistle inside.

The feeling was amazing. This was better than the one time he tried smoking weed with his frat bro friend Brad in college. Brad didn't graduate cum laude like Neil had. But now Neil was about to cum loud because of this fucking Weenie Whistle almost brushing his prostate.

Slowly working the whistle in and out of his butt hole, he grabbed his cock and stroked it fast. Before he knew it, he was shooting thick wads of cum all over his thrift-store-looking Dad sweater.

Happy holidays y'all.


End file.
